Bonjour,
J'aurais besoin d'une correction et d'aide pour retirer mes répétitions de "and" et mots de liaison s'il vous plait.
Merci


I
would like to tell a few things about myself. My name is E... and I'm
15. I live in T...... but I'm a boarder in L........ in the
secondary school J....... in the section AbiBac.


I'm
tall similarly is
Romeo but I'm slim contrary to him, who is a bit athletic. I've got
short straight brown hair, so is
my friend. I've got blue wide eyes, a flat nose and wide lips whereas
he's got brown wide eyes, a flat nose moreover
thin
lips.



Romeo's
personality is very different form mine. Contrary to me he is very
hard-working furthermore a bit of a workaholic whereas I'm lazy. He
works a lot therefore he's an intellectual and so I am ! Unlike him,
I'm reserved and
lacking in initiative whereas he is very talkative and
he is not afraid of anything and
he likes adventure. Both of us are very impatient and
we don't really appreciate waiting a thing a longtime.


Romeo
and I are very sociable. For example, when we are at a party, both of
us tend to enjoy mixing with others. We have never made people cry
because we are tactless. Besides I'm very humorous in the same way as
Romeo, who is very talkative and funny.


I'm
keen on playing the guitar. It's really my passion so that I try to
play all sorts of music. I'm a bit sporty and what I like most of all
is doing athletics. I can't bear playing football but I really go for
athletics. I like reading too but I'd rather go out than read at
home.


My
favourite language is German. I'm in AbiBac so I've learned German
for 6 years. I've a good level of understanding and expression but
it's not really perfect... This language is not so difficult that's
why I don't understand why many people prefer Spanish. Maybe because
it's more spoken ?


Later,
I'm thinking of studying in Germany. I'd like to have mi A-Level in
French and German with the aim of studying sciences. I hope to have a
career and a good job in Germany in order to live in peace...


To
sum up, I think I'm not so bad and I can be very funny. I'm very
musical and creative. I have many projects for my future but I
especially would like to have a good life in this cruel world...

1

Réponses

2014-10-28T17:02:49+01:00
I would like to tell a few things about myself. My name is E... and I'm
15 years old. I live in T...... but I'm a boarder in L........ in the
secondary school J....... in the section AbiBac.

I'm tall similarly as Romeo but I'm slim contrary to him, who is a bit athletic. I've got short straight brown hair, so as my friend. I am a blued wided eyed boy with a flat nose and wide lips whereas he's got brown wide eyes, a flat nose moreover thin lips. 
Romeo's personality is very different form mine. Contrary to me he is very
hard-working  furthermore a bit of a workaholic whereas I'm lazy. He
works a lot therefore he's an intellectual and so am I!As far afield as him, I'm reserved besides I am lacking in initiative whereas he is very talkative also
he is not afraid of anything by the way  he likes adventure. Both of us are very impatient hence we don't really appreciate waiting for longtime.
Besides,we actually both sociable. For example, when we are at a party, both of
us tend to enjoy mixing with the others. We have never made people cry
because we are tactless. Besides I'm very humorous in the same way as
Romeo, who is very talkative and funny.

I'm keen on playing the guitar. It's really my passion so that I try to
play all sorts of music. I'm quite sporty and what I like most of all
is doing athletics. I can't bear playing football but I really go for
athletics. I like reading too but I'd rather go out than read at
home.

My favourite language is German. I'm in AbiBac so I've learned German
for 6 years. I've a good level of understanding and expression but
it's not really perfect... This language is not so difficult that's
why I don't understand why many people prefer Spanish. Maybe because
it's more spoken ?

Later, I'm thinking of studying in Germany. I'd like to have mi A-Level in
French and German with the aim of studying sciences. I hope to have a
career and a good job in Germany in order to live in peace...

To sum up, I think I'm not so bad and I can be very funny. I'm very
musical and creative. I have many projects for my future but I
especially would like to have a good life in this cruel world...

Très belle rédaction en tout cas :)