Si le but de l'exercice était d'utiliser le préterit, alors je pense que le sujet est mal choisi. Mais si tu ne veux pas changer quand même, tu peux toujours recopier cette correction :
Jake and Daisy, a young couple, were going to camping. It was
a great day. The night of full moon, Jack and Daisy were sleeping,
suddenly, strange noises awaken them. The young people saw a
shadow which was moving. Jack and Daisy were going out and they were
bumping in front of a ghost.
He was very scary and horrible. Terrified, the couple was running
to its car but it's too late...
Jack and Daisy disappeared together.
Campers were taking photos. In one of them, the ghost was appearing...
Si c'était simplement de raconter un texte au passé, alors je t'ais corrigé ton texte ici :
"Jake and Daisy, a young couple, have been camping. It have been a great day. A night of full moon, Jack and Daisy have slept, but suddenly, stranges noises have awaken them. The young couple have saw a
shadow which have moved.
They have went out and they have bumped in front of a ghost.
It have been very scary and horrible.
Terrified, the couple has ron to its car but it have been too late...
They have disappeared together.
Campers have took photos. On one of them, the ghost has appearing... "