Corrigez moi s'il vous plait! C'est très très très urgent...



Dear Sir or
Madam,


I just learned that some pictures from my facebook
were considered as inappropriate and shocked the family, who, per consequent,
no longer wishes to welcome me.


I am writing to apologize for the trouble I caused by
these pictures. This was definitely not intentional and I would never have
thought that these pictures could cause problems. Indeed, in France , it is
allowed to drink beer at the age of 18 years old ( the age I am now) . That's
why some pictures with beer could be seen on facebook. However, I am aware that
the majority in the United States is 21 years old and I have agreed to hold a clean
driving when I will be there, so not drinking alcohol. I signed the papers of
WEP and if I do, it's because I counted respect the customs of the United
States when I will be there. Believe me, I am a serious and respectful girl. My
parents will agree without any hesitation. I have never used illicit substances
, I have never had any problem whatsoever with my school , my parents , or the
police . I only consumed occasionally alcohol like beer but only because it's
allowed here . I respect the law in France , so I will respect the United
States one , even if it is different here. You can trust me . I do not
disappoint you . And I will never cause you problems anymore. That is why I ask
you to forgive me again.


Once again, I apologize for any inconvenience this may
have caused.


Yours faithfully,



1

Réponses

2014-05-07T13:50:36+02:00
C'est bien , j'ai quelque chose à vous proposer " I respect the law in France, so i will respect that of United States too." c'est mieux 
Il y a aussi " I will not disappoint you" car vous parlez d'une chose au futur .
Ne jamais commencer une phrase par "And" c'est une faute.
"That is why i ask once more your forgiveness" " c'est mieux

En dehors de ces fautes, l'ensemble n'est pas mal , du courage