Quelqu'un, de bilingue peut m'aider à corriger les fautes de ma notion pour mon oral et me reformuler quelques phrases.


I'm
going to talk about the notion Idea of Progress. In relation to the
notion, the subject of my presentation will be news technologies.
Thus let's see what are the differents aspects of new technologies in
the area of communication? First of all, I will focus on the
advantages before finally focusing on the drawbacks.


To
begin with, I'd like to give a definition of this notion. It's the
idea that the world develops and improves in all areas which implies
many changes that don't always please averybody. These changes can be
found in science, medicine, society or also economy but especially in
the area of technology.






One
must go back in time to see the first inventions that helped with the
development of means the communication. The greatest inventions are
mentioned in the document “Great Inventions” where inventors'
names are mentioned for example Alexander Graham Bell who invented
the telephone in 1876 or he Wright Brother who invented a
gasoline-powered.


Over
the last years, the most revolutionary innovation has been the
Internet. Presented in the document “ Innovation of our Time” the
Internet was made available to the public in 1992. This invention has
changed our behaviors. We have access to an incredible mass of
Information and we can also buy on line. The Internet is a new
communication means with forms, chatsrooms or social networks. We can
communicate with every body in the world. And with smartphone, we can
be connected to the Interned from anywhere. New technologies have a
lot of advantages and have become indispensable. However, these
inventions of the past and present have drawbacks too.






Indeed
the new means of communication are very expensive? This trend creates
a new kind of social discrimination because people who can't afford
to buy new technologies are excluded.


Moreover
as Marianne Power says in the article “Mail online” : “ The
Internet is developing 'e-personalities' that are uninhibited
versions of who we are”. The 'e-personalities' is describes as
child-like, impulsive and narcissistic.


Finally
with new tecnologies there is less human contact. People are hiding
behind their screen and are not aware of their actions.






In
conclusion, we can sa that new tecnologies have a lot advantages yet
they have also drawbacks. This is also the case for medicaladvances
with vaccines, organ transplants, the fight against cancer, plastic
surgery or cloning. In any case, they have become vital. I think
that new technologies are a good things because it's progress. But
you must know how to use them well.

1
je suis pas bilingue, donc je met juste les fautes que je connais: to talk about the notion of...New (pas news) technologies...the different (sans s) aspects...It's the idea...=(peut-être) The idea is that the development and improvement of the world imply many changes which don't....Everybody...Specially (pas especially) et j'aurai mis "science, medecine etc au pluriel ou comme tu as mis au Sing. en terminant par economy's areas(je sais si je suis très clair)...One must have to look behind(suis
pas sûr)...the development of(sans the) means of communication...The internet is a new communication mean (sans S ???je pense) with forums, chatrooms...And with a smartphone, we can be connected to inernet....advantages and became..this tendency(je pense que trend c'est +pr la mode??)..the 'e-personalities' ARE describeD as..and narcissist persons....with new teHnologies,..people are hiding themselves behind..We can sEE that new tecHnologies have a lot OF advantages .medical advances..that new t
technologies are a good thing(sans s)...J'espère t'avoir un peu aidé sans avoir fait trop d'erreurs................Bnejournée
Merci beaucoup je corrige ça tout de suite
Ok, j'espère ne pas te faire faire de fautes ; c'est pour ça que je met en comment pas en réponse et des fois () qd j'hésite trop

Réponses

  • Utilisateur Brainly
2014-04-28T10:51:44+02:00
Ton texte dans l'ensemble est bien. Je trouve que tu as répété trop souvent surtout au début "area" (trouves des synonymes).
Pour l'orthographe, il y a quelques fautes:
Dans le premier paragraphe au mot "new" il n'y a pas de -s, different sans -s.
averybody ce mot n'existe pas si tu veux dire tout le monde c'est everybody.
Pour cette phrase: These changes can be found in sciences, medicines, societies or also economy but especially in the area of technology.


J'espère que ce que j'ai fait va t'aller. Bon courage!
Merci beaucoup