bonjour quelqu un pourrai svp me corriger le texte merci d avance

Camille and Lucas



He was in a
school of Mauritius in the class of Camille when a new student arrives. It is
the name Lucas. He had
brown hair and green eyes, he is very shy. IL sits next to Camille. Camille had
blond hair and blue eyes. She fell in love with Lucas. After
several days talking and joking in his jokes Camille wanted to go to the beach
with him this Saturday. On
the beach, swam and they panicked, Lucas fell in love with Camille, Lucas asked
Camille if she wants to be his girlfriend, Camille replied yes she was very
happy. She
was so happy that she decided to tell her father, but when Camille came home
and said she loved Lucas to his father, his father did not agree that Camille
had a boyfriend before its 18
years so he wanted to meet the parents of Lucas to explain them the situation. Lucas’s
parents agreed to meet the father of Camille. Lucas begged his parents to
change his mind the father of Camille.


After the meeting, Lucas could not see Camille
so he decided to go to the island of Reunion.
To
change school and be away from Camille, but Camille could not live if she could
not see Lucas; she bought a ticket for the same flight as Lucas. Lucas
was surprised but very happy to see Camille in the same plane. Camille tells him
that she can’t live without him. But
the plane crashed and sank into the sea rescuers found themselves Camille Lucas
unconscious and clinging to each other on a plane piece. After the accident,
Lucas wakes up in a hospital and ask the nurse where Camille was. The nurse
said that Camille was seriously injured and is in the operating room. Lucas was very worried. After
ten minutes, the doctors left the room and told Lucas that Camille was dead,
they could do nothing to save her, and she was too seriously injured. Lucas saw Camille lie on the
table. He
could not live if he could not live with Camille. Lucas committed suicide by
holding the hand of Camille.




enfin me dire si les verbes et les phrases sont bonne merci d avance


1
merci Nathea
He prefered to be away from Camille. But Camille couldn't see her boyfrienf going away; so she bought a plane ticket fot the same flight. When Lucas saw her, he wa surprised but so happy. Camille told him she couldn't live without him. But suddenly the plane crashed and sank in the sea. The rescuers found Camilla and Lucas clinging to each other (holding ) very tight on a piece of the aircraft. Both were unconscious. Lucas woke up at the hospital and asked the nurse how was Camille. She told hi
him she had been badly injured and was in the operating room. Lucas was very worried, and expecting news from the surgeons. They came after ten minutes and told him they hadn' t been able to do anything. Camille was in a too bad shape. They didn't save her. They allowed Lucas to see her a last time. They left them alone, but as Lucas couldn't live with Camille, he commited suicide holding her hand.
C' est pas he au début mais It
J' ai fait trop plein de fautes de frappe. Stp si t'as un doute dis le moi; j'ai un peu la honte!!!!!!

Réponses

2014-07-09T12:25:58+02:00
He was in a school of Mauritius in the Camille's class when a new student arrived (prétérit car c'est du passé).
On ne dit pas "the class of Camille". Quand il s'agit d'un être vivant il faut utiliser le "'s"
Ex: My father's appartment, My dog's food,
Si c'est pluriel, utilise juste l'apostrophe sans "s" après. Ex : My parents' home is close to yours, The cats' eyes can see in the night

His name is Lucas. He had brown hair and green eyes, he is very shy. He was sitting down next to Camille. Camille had blond hair and blue eyes. She fell in love with Lucas. After several days talking and joking with him, Camille wanted to go to the beach
with him this on Saturday. On the beach, they swam and they panicked, Lucas fell in love with Camille. And then, he asked Camille whether she wanted to be his girlfriend, Camille replied yes. She was so happy that she decided to tell her father, but when Camille came back home and tell her father she loved Lucas, her father did not accept that she had a boyfriend before its 18 years so he wanted to meet the Lucas' parents to explain to (toujours la préposition "to" avec le verbe explain) them the situation. Lucas’s parents accepted to meet Camille's father of Camille. Lucas begged his parents to change the mind of Camille's father.


After the meeting, Lucas could not see Camille so he decided to go to the Reunion island in order to change school and be away from Camille, but Camille could not live if she wasn't able to see Lucas; she bought a ticket for the same flight as Lucas's one.

Lucas' one = celui de Lucas (le billet d'avion de Lucas).

Lucas was surprised but very happy to see Camille in the same plane. Camille told him
that she can’t live without him. But the plane crashed and sank into the sea. Rescuers found Camille Lucas unconscious and clinging to each other on a plane piece. After the accident, Lucas woke up in a hospital and asked the nurse where Camille was. The nurse said that Camille was seriously injured and is in the operating room. Lucas was very worried. After ten minutes, the doctors left the room and told Lucas that Camille was dead. They couldn't do anything to save her, and she was too seriously wounded (= injured mais ça évite les répétitions). Lucas saw Camille lying on the
table. He could not live without Camille. Lucas committed a suicide by holding Camille's hand.