Pourriez-vous corriger ma redaction en anglais s'il vous plais aidez moi




Sujet :
What would you do if you inherited $ 1 million ?






Most people, use the money to make excesses, but me if a day I would inherit 1 million $, I would do good aro-und me and mostly to make me happy the same.







To
start, when I would
be 18 years old I would
put the money which, I have to
save on a bank
account.
Then, I would give money has my parents, but also I would finance my
studies. I would make donations of money for associations and I would
travel in Africa .


After having to
help the world, I would buy a wardrobe and a
house. I would
open a chain of restaurant. With the money that it
remains me I would like to go the world, to begin with Asia in
particular India, to stop me in China and in Japan then to go has New
York.




I
would give money has my parents, because I would to help them to pay
what they cannot pay and I would finance my studies, because I would
to have the best possible future. I would travel in Africa, because
I would to help the children against the hunger in the world,
I would
open a chain of restaurant, because I adore the
french gastronomy. I would like to make this travel because I would
to learn has to discover of new traditions and to for also disovering
new people

1

Réponses

2014-05-07T19:15:22+02:00
Je corrige tout direct, sachant qu'il y a des fautes de toutes sortes, dont de sens, j'ai également fusionné les deux paragraphes qui n'ont aucun raison d'être séparés. Mais sérieux le 2ème est difficilement incompréhensible, tant au niveau du sens que de la syntaxe, donc je corrige ce que je peux et désolé si je te comprend mal. Si tu veux des explications précise demande moi, je peux pas tout expliquer dans ce message. C'est parti :

Most people use money excessively, but if one day I inherited 1 Million $, I would use it to help people around me, what would make me happy by the same. 

To begin, once I would be 18, I would save my money in a bank account.
Then, I would give money to my parents and help them to pay what they can't, but I would also pay my studies in order to ( = pour, dans le but de, expression courante à garder en mémoire) have the best job as possible. Moreover I would make donations for associations and I would go and travel in Africa to help children suffering form hunger.
After having helped the world (quel vantard !) I would buy a house (ta garde-robe on s'en fiche un peu...) and I would open a restaurant chain as I love French food. With the money that would stay to me, I would like to travel the world ( = voyager à travers le monde, autre expression très utile à garder en mémoire) for example in China, Japan or India, but also New-York; in order to discover new traditions and meeting peoples.


Ah oui un dernier truc, récurent dans le 2 ème paragraphe : c'est soit "I would like to" qui signifie "j'aimerais...", soit "I would" qui exprime ce que tu ferais, par exemple : I would wash the car = Je laverais la voiture