Est-ce que mon texte (anglais) est bon ?

Bonjour à tous, j'avais un texte en anglais à faire ( Terminal ES), mais je ne suis pas très forte en anglais.. Pouvez-vous me dire si il est correct ? Merci ! :). Le sujet traîte de l'éducation Anglaise.

First of all, the British system of education is completely different from the french system and a little complicated. To begin with, the british system of education guarantees education until 16 or ever 18. This is from 5 years that school is compulsory, children will attend at the secondary school where they learn mains subjetcs. Then, the pupils can go to in a first system, followed by a large majority of pupils is the public system. They are free and without selection ( 90% of pupils in state-run non selective schools) but there is that 20% of pupils who are a very good results. Otherwise, there is a second system, it is a public school. Parents pay so that their children frequent this schools. This are schools to set aside at the richest and for brighter pupils. Nevertheless, 50% obtain notable marks, what is 30% more than the other school. More the A level is naised, more the student increases his chances make up one's mind to attend the university of it's choice because the top universities require excellent A level results. England considers as prestigious university, considered in the world like oxford, harvad. We cas notice that only 5% of pupils from poor neighborhoods make it to these 20 top universities. After their A level, students either the universities or work. Finally I find dammage that it's the rich population wjich access the best schools. There is a disparity in the system education, example, less poor students at britains's top 20 universities. Though, the system education is very good (lot of university consider). I think that other country has took example on British education.

Voila voila, j'espere que vous pourrez m'aider ! :)

2
cest bon mais les chiffres fait les mettred en anglais sinon tu vas perdres des points betement
Il y a des petites rectifications à faire . Tu traduis beaucoup trop le français en anglais et du coup à certains endroits les phrases ont peu de sens . Par exemple la phrase " This is from 5 years that school is compulsory" devrait etre School is compulsory from the age of five or from five years old , Ensuite " Children will attend secondary ( pas THE ) school were the WILL learn main (jamais au pluriel ) subjects or several subjects .
Il y a des petites rectifications à faire . Tu traduis beaucoup trop le français en anglais et du coup à certains endroits les phrases ont peu de sens . Par exemple la phrase " This is from 5 years that school is compulsory" devrait etre School is compulsory from the age of five or from five years old , Ensuite " Children will attend secondary ( pas THE ) school were the WILL learn main (jamais au pluriel ) subjects or several subjects .
Bon les phrases d’après sont encore moins bien construites . Utilise-tu un traducteur en ligne ? Si oui , il vaut mieux éviter parce que le plantage est assuré. As-tu rédigé ton texte en français? Il me sera plus facile de t'aider en le lisant .
le texte me parait juste

Réponses

2013-09-29T14:44:26+02:00
C bon mais tu dois pas mettre les chiffres en chiffres il faut que tu les mettent en lettre. Par exemple 5% tu dois le mettre comme sa five purcent
Ah d'accord merci ! Mais il n'y a pas trop de fautes niveau vocab, structure des phrases etc.. ?
non sa va. Pourcent sécrit comme sa dsl je viens de voir percent
2013-09-29T16:32:38+02:00
Firstly, the British education system  is completely different of the french one and a little more complicated. To begin with, the british education system guarantees education until 16 or 18. It's since 5 years ago that school is compulsory, children have too wait for secondary school to learn mains subjetcs. Then, the pupils can go to  a first system, followed by a large majority of pupils in the public system. It's free and without selection ( 90% of pupils in non state-run selective schools) but there are 20% of pupils who are really good students and have very good results. Otherwise, there is a second system, it is a private school. Parents have to pay so that their children frequent this schools. This are schools to set aside at the richest and for brighter pupils. Nevertheless, 50% obtain notable marks, what is 30% more than the other school. More the A level is naised, more the student increases their chances make up one's mind to attend the university of it's choice because the top universities require excellent A level results. England considers them as prestigious university, considered in the world like oxford, harvad. We can notice that only 5% of pupils from poor neighborhoods make it to these 20 top universities. After their A level, students either the universities or work. Finally I find dammage that it's the rich population wjich access best schools. There is a disparity in the system education, for example, less poor students at britains's top 20 universities. ALThough, the system education is very good (lot of university consider). I think that other country has took example on British education.